"The worst kind of evil is the one that shrowds itself in good." ~Nicole Nemeth

The picture above depicts how I feel at the moment: As I should be studying for finals and writing my paper for Old Testament I find myself being drawn to learn more about those behind our nation. There is some crazy stuff that has gone on (and is going on) right in-front of us. And the worst part about it is that there is nothing that I can do about it. Well, nothing besides writing and telling people what I have found out. But at the end of the day, this is stuff that has gone on for longer than I can comprehend. I am just learning about it now. Here is a link to a unclassified document from 1962 from George Washington University that I found earlier today. Now, I must explain that the first part was really confusing for me, at least. The real "meat and potatoes" is found on page 7 (If you download the .pdf format than it is page number 10). Crazy stuff...what makes us think that now is any different? How do you win against and idea (see blog from December 10, 2007)? Well, nothing can be better for me at the moment than listening to David Gilmore and David Bowie on the PBS special that I am watching. Words seem to escape me at the moment. So have a good one. Ugh....nothing is better to soothe the soul....MUSIC!

Events of Saturday 1 December 2007:

1. Woke up an hour later than expected
2. Got ready and spent 4 hours working on the Theater project
3. Came home ate the fastest I have ever eaten (my leftovers from the previous evening)
4. Went to Charliepalozza (for free) and saw Josh Gracin
5. Sweet talked the lady into letting us reenter after we had to leave because Nikki had worship practice at 7:00PM
6. Got back at 9:00 and saw Mark Chesnutt and the wonderful Charlie Daniels Band

Charlie Daneils is an amazing person. For 17 years he has been doing Charliepalozza for his charity called The Angelus. He just seems like he is an incredible person. I want to meet him one day and tell him that.
And His music is amazing!
Well I must go... Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is calling my name.

Today it took a while for me to wake up and my coffee tasted like hose water. Everyone says that the white hoses that are made for RV's or boat's a specially designed to NOT taste like hose water...I do not believe them. Anyway I had to throw away my coffee and I stopped in Starbucks and got a soy latte. Well, as I was in Starbucks, I saw a woman feeding a baby at the bar. She had her feet propped up and I caught a glimpse of the most wonderful shoes in the world on her feet. TOMS shoes. I told her that I liked them and we discussed how the company gives a pair away for every pair that is purchesed. Well, I was able to tell her that if she went to the website and typed in "Hanson" there was free shipping. She laughed. It was awesome.
And I am super-excited about my theater project about "A Streetcar Named Desire." I am teaming up with someone to design the set...it is going to be sick.

Fact: it has been a long time since I posted anything on here.

Question: How weird is it that one day it seems like one can see such hurt and pain in the world (which makes one incredibly unnerved and unable to stand Wal-Mart), and the next day it seems like this life is so beautiful?

I don't know if I am alone in this, or not. But I do know that experiences like this are real to me. It's like the anxiety can be so overwhelming at times. There is this movie called Bandits (movie still to the right), in which the Kate (played by Cate Blanchett) says "I would rather feel too much than too little." I agree.

Sanctuary

I was just thinking how I miss the Starkey Park Bike Trail, and well, being able to rollerblade like I used to. It seems like that was my time, with myself and with God. And, well, there is something about feeling like you are away from civilization for a couple of hours and just blading and listening to podcast and learning and I guess that I could go on and on about how great it is. Now over here in Lakeland, we have Lake Hollingsworth and there is the trail by PCC, and it is good, but just not Starkey Park. Imagine a wide trail winding through the woods and no cars, and enough people passing you every so often so you feel like you are safe, but not so many that it becomes super crowded. Now imagine going for about 4 1/2 miles one direction, and all of a sudden the trail narrows and the trees cover the path. There is a little creek. (I'm not going to lie: it was seeming to be pretty dry of late.) But it is beautiful. Nature at it's best. The trail then opens up again and cost along. At 6 1/2 miles you face the Suncoast Parkway, complete with it's own bike path, the Suncoast Trail. The cars zoom by as you contemplate the direction you desire to go. Right will take you to Hwy 54, and left brings you to Hwy 52. But you know that either direction you go, you get to go over a bridge, and you will probably see an alligator along the way. You end up going as far as you can handle one direction, forgetting about the trip back to your car. But it is worth it....if I were you, I would choose left, because there is a water cooler about 1/2 mile up the trail.

So as I sit in the business center listening to the sweet sounds of The Working Title, I have been thinking about the importance of balance. I have been working on my theology reading, and I have come to the conclusion that as humans we can never really understand this whole God thing. It can seem to be very frustrating, the whole not knowing thing. But on the other hand, how amazing is it to be aware that "at the end we have so much to look forward to." So God can do anything, because if He didn't He would not be God. And at the same time, He cannot act contradictory to His nature. How does that make sense? It is a logical contradiction to say that He can do anything, and then state the things that He cannot do, and both seem like accurate statements when they are separated, but together they are just contradictory. But they both are true. What does that even mean? That God just isn't logical? That we really can't wrap our minds around this Amazing Being?

But enough of that. So I am in the business center, right by the lobby of the hotel in Lake Wales, in the middle of nowhere. It is kinda interesting listening to what is going on around here. (They have like a million golf carts, and I guess golf cart #24 crashed into something and left. They were being loud, too). Earlier though, there was a bonfire, it's still going on probably. My little brother Caleb and I were staying warm for a while by the fire. (Well, he was more so walking around finding pine needles and bark and sticks to throw into the fire, but I was trying to stay warm.) Around 10:00 PM they broke out the Jello shots. Hahaha! Then it was time for Caleb and I to leave, because how are you supposed to keep a kid from getting too close to the fire when the intoxicated adults are throwing there plastic containers and logs, but not quite getting it into the fire, and burning there arm-hair off. Plus Caleb asked about the Jello, but didn't want any after I explained that they were made of adult beverages. Oh, I love my brothers.

Reflections

So I have been thinking about the whole 3 Step to Failure plan, and the more I think about it the more I would have to say that they are good guidelines, but as far as the "be all end all," not so much. I know many people who are successful and they do not follow explicitly these steps. It's like the first rule of writing being that there are no rules. With life it is so easy to try to formulate plans, steps, requirements, etc. to get yourself to be bigger or better or happier or more of what you think that you should be or help you get what you think you need. But the if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that as much as you plan and try and do all that you feel you must, there are always things that get in your way. And this one is big, are you ready, sometimes what you think are answers are sometimes not answers at all. Or better stated, the answers only lead to harder and more difficult questions. Life is an adventure and adventures aren't adventures unless they are dangerous. Which makes me think of a book called Your God is too Safe. I have been wanting to read that for awhile.

Well, look what we have here...

As she sits and at her booth, and listens to the wonderful sounds of Mute Math, (look to your right) she realizes that she has pretty much the best computer in the entire world, because she can send pictures from her phone via Bluetooth right to her computer. This makes the girl very happy; this figuring out of things she had never known before, which seems to be happening "quite often of late." (That phrase sounds kinda weird, but I googled it, and it appears to be legit.) And happy also that she had decided to to this whole blog thing...fun stuff baby. OH, I wonder if I can send videos as well? Hmmm...I am trying right now. Amazing, technology is amazing. I must lean how to take advantage of that more often, and if I had more time now I would. I got a video up, but I couldn't post it cause it is in the wrong format.
Oh, I miss my family and friends so much, but in the same breath I would not want to be anywhere other than the place I am at now (this statement would make so much more sense if you could see the video). But all of this is not the reason that I decided to blog in the first place. The real reason is as follows:
I'm not going to lie, today chapel was pretty much amazing. The General Superintendent of the Assembles of God, Dr. George Wood, spoke about John 6. Pretty much everyone has heard the story. Jesus fed 5,000+ people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. He then used this story to illustrate a 3 Step Plan on How to Be a Failure. It goes as follows: 1. Focus on how big the task is and how impossible it is; 2. Focus on the little that you actually have; 3. Leave the Lord out of the picture.
He told the story of Lillian Hunt Trasher (hyperlinks are amazing), and her story is amazing. I was mesmerized. I have realized that throughout the years I have gone from the mentality of "Anything is Possible" to "Anything is Possible, if you have the means." A dose of reality, if you will. With this whole growing up thing, I have been realizing that life is not what I expected it to be. I honesty do not know what I actually expected it to be like, but I know that this is not it. It's a sweet sadness really. But I desire to be in a state where He, God, is my means. I want to be ok with the fact that what He means my life to be, may not coincide with what I mean for myself to be. If I am going to be honest I would have to say that at this point for some reason that scares the crap out of me. It is also hard, because I don't know what my "task" is. There are many things that I want to do, but I do not feel like I have a specific "call" on my life. I will say that I have this feeling deep down in my gut that says I will accomplish something great, but I do not know what that "something" is. Anyway, after all of that I just want to say that I think it is important to get back to a Childlike faith. That He is, and always will be, my security. That is all for now, I have been on here way too long and I need to study for my Theatre test

My First

So here it goes. I have decided to start a blog for the following reasons:
1. Everyone has a story to tell, and I simply want to tell mine.
2. I'm not going to lie: I think that my story is pretty great.
3. I have always had this thing where I want people to know who I am, even if I don't know who they are exactly.
4. I like to write.
5. Random things and bits of information are extremely important.
4. (Alright, here is the biggest and most important reason of all) Myspace starts deleting posts after you have posted 10 blogs, and it bothers me that something I have created or that I think is important has been taken away.

Oh, and I am going have to give credit to my friend, Mr. Christopher Beatty, for the title to the blog you are now reading.
That is all for now, have a great day!