15 December 2008
Are the details in the fabric?
What if i lived to see fulfilled the dreams of those I come into contact with? It doesn't even have to be big dreams, a little one here or there will suffice. What if I were able to be a vessel for a higher power? What if my words, my thoughts, my actions made people think beyond themselves? Is the connection we have to others unmarked by some and embraced by others? Where do I fall? To be fully alive must there be a happy balanced, or is it necessary to be conscious of this connection? What if I started to live consciously, with the reality that my every choice, my every breath, my every word, my every thought has an affect on something outside myself? We all exist beyond ourselves. We are intended for a purpose beyond ourselves. We all have potential greatness; we have potential destruction. We all live it out every day. Greatness and destruction fuel our world. Dose the destruction of one negate the greatness of another? Does the greatness of one empower the destruction of another?
22 October 2008
Beauty is...
..Ray LaMontagne. How is it that I just found out about him a few weeks ago thanks to my wonderful cousin. I saw that she was friends with him on the MySpace. "Amazing" is all I have to say!! There is a longing that i feel with his music. A good longing, a vindicable longing. His music sounds like fall feels. That is all I have to say. Have a good day!
Ray LaMontagne EPK
Ray LaMontagne EPK
14 October 2008
Last week, two times in a row, I have been having crazy weird dreams about bombs blowing up the country. My aunt says that I am probably stressed out about the looming elections; I think she may be right. I have taken up reading the newspaper. My goal is to get through the first section starting with the opinions. I keep my pencil in hand and write down my thoughts or opinions in the margins.
I came across this column in the opinion section written by Garrison Keillor called "Americans' B.S. detectors go off the charts with Palin." (Now, I don't want this to be a crap-on-Palin blog, but I think that her beliefs and actions need to be taken into account when there is a possibility we may be calling her President Palin in the future.) But, back to the newspaper...I underlined almost half the article, and there are quite a few exclamation points. One example:
"The attempt to link Barack Obama to an old radial in his neighborhood has desperation and deceit written all over it."
Just today, the only McCain ad I saw on TV was the one that mentioned "William Ayres, the terrorist" and how Obama lied about knowing him. Palin says during her speeches that the two "pal around" together. This is not true. They were both part of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, a group founded in the 1990 by the high profile Republican and philanthropist whose widow supports the McCain campaign. The purpose of the group was to improve public schools in areas ranging from teacher training to music education to parental involvement. Ayers was on a voluntary advisory board who hired lawyers to write bylaws which, in time, would need to be unanimously approved by the board of directors, of which Obama was a part. In late 1960s, when Obama was 8 years old, William Ayers was part of a radical leftest group called the Weather Underground, a group of college students who violenly protested the Vietnam War by bombing public locations. Ayers turned himself into the police in the 1980s, charges against him were dropped, and he has since become a "Distinguished Professor at the University of Illinois." Obama describes Ayers actions in the Weather Underground both "detestable" and "despicable." Just go to factcheck.org for more information.
On a much lighter note, I was looking up chords to a song called "New Deep" by John Mayer, and I ended up looking at what people said the song means. Some are comical.
I came across this column in the opinion section written by Garrison Keillor called "Americans' B.S. detectors go off the charts with Palin." (Now, I don't want this to be a crap-on-Palin blog, but I think that her beliefs and actions need to be taken into account when there is a possibility we may be calling her President Palin in the future.) But, back to the newspaper...I underlined almost half the article, and there are quite a few exclamation points. One example:
"The attempt to link Barack Obama to an old radial in his neighborhood has desperation and deceit written all over it."
Just today, the only McCain ad I saw on TV was the one that mentioned "William Ayres, the terrorist" and how Obama lied about knowing him. Palin says during her speeches that the two "pal around" together. This is not true. They were both part of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, a group founded in the 1990 by the high profile Republican and philanthropist whose widow supports the McCain campaign. The purpose of the group was to improve public schools in areas ranging from teacher training to music education to parental involvement. Ayers was on a voluntary advisory board who hired lawyers to write bylaws which, in time, would need to be unanimously approved by the board of directors, of which Obama was a part. In late 1960s, when Obama was 8 years old, William Ayers was part of a radical leftest group called the Weather Underground, a group of college students who violenly protested the Vietnam War by bombing public locations. Ayers turned himself into the police in the 1980s, charges against him were dropped, and he has since become a "Distinguished Professor at the University of Illinois." Obama describes Ayers actions in the Weather Underground both "detestable" and "despicable." Just go to factcheck.org for more information.
On a much lighter note, I was looking up chords to a song called "New Deep" by John Mayer, and I ended up looking at what people said the song means. Some are comical.
06 September 2008
I woke up this morning around 4:30 in the AM, thinking about something I had written in 2004, about poverty. At the time I was fasting. I was fasting at first because I wanted to know if I had the willpower to do it, but then it became a spiritual experience where I was learning more about myself and my connection to the world around me than I had ever had up to that point. I was in the library at the local community college that I had been attending. I was trying to study, but some students were being distracting, so I decided to just write. I was writing about nothing in particular. But then I got this image of one of those malnourished children that they show on TV from oversees. I had this image of a child whose belly was swollen with hunger. I started to wonder what this kid did to deserve the life he had. I began to wonder why God would allow such things to happen. I have yet to find the answer. But I began to explore what it meant for me. I began to wonder what God was trying to show me through the image of a little child collapsed on the side of a road in a foreign country with a vulture waiting in the distance. Maybe, if we allow it, these images can teach us love. Not the act of love, but love itself. I can imagine there eyes not looking at me, but looking through me. Looking through the surface and exposing me. Exposing everything inside of me that does not echo love: the fear, the anxiety, the mistrust, the greed, the pride, all the things I keep hidden. And it shouldn't be a matter of "you can always find someone worse off than you." It should be a matter of shifting my misguided perception of how the world has wronged me. It should be a matter of living in a way parallel to what the New Testament teaches as opposed to what the Western Church teaches.
While I was trying to write this, I stumble upon a story....
Read it
Watch it
Amazing
While I was trying to write this, I stumble upon a story....
Read it
Watch it
Amazing
01 July 2008
Democracy: "A system of government by the whole population or all the eligible members of a state, typically through elected representatives."
Chapter 11 of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) allows foreign investors to sue government when they feel expropriation has taken place. For example, a Canadian company had sued the United States for $970 million, under NAFTA's Chapter 11, because of a environmental regulation in California. Now this was not just some "hippy libs" trying to pass another law about the environment. It began over MTBE, a chemical added to gasoline to help clean the air. The problem with this chemical is that was found to cause cancer in lab rats. The major issue arose when the drinking water tested positive to MTBE contamination. The contamination was linked to several leaks in gas stations. American citizens living in or around the area did not feel comfortable with the idea of being exposed to MTBE through their water, and as much as the state tried to clean up the contamination, the tainted water spread. So the state enacted a regulation. This environmental regulation was passed on 25 March 1999, and it ordered MTBE be phased out of all gasoline sold in California. However, this was not welcomed by the Canadian company, Methanex, who is the largest producer of MTBE. A few months after the regulation was passed, Methanex sued the United States. Methanex explains their choice to sue under Chapter 11. Although, they do not mention the whole part about their product producing cancer in lab rats. They did not receive a settlement as of 2005.
Ok, we live in America, and one of the benefits of being an American is that anyone can sue the crap out of someone else for any reason whatsoever. So the aforementioned story on the surface seems like something acceptable by American standards. But the thing about Americans suing Americans is that it goes through the American court system. If the case goes to trial, American citizens are the jury. Wasn't it Lincoln who envisioned the future to have a government "of the people, by the people, and for the people?"
With NAFTA's Chapter 11, another citizen or company from a foreign country who is part of NAFTA can sue the United States of America. The suit filed is then reviewed by a tribunal (mostly international law experts), who make a decision. No American citizen or legislation is admitted. If the US loses, the government is subject to pay out. Now who does the government get all its money from? That's right, us! The American taxpayer. Where has democracy gone? The American people, in this instance, have NO voice in a matter involving themselves. Where has democracy gone?
On the other hand, an American citizen, or an American company can sue a foreign company under Chapter 11 if they feel they have been expropriated. The first claim filed under Chapter 11 was by an American company, Metalclad, against Mexico. You can go here to read the rest of the story.
I would like to think that America has the right to get rid of a chemical that has been found to cause cancer in lab rats. I would like to think that Mexican citizens have the right to demand that a company cleans up their toxic waste dump, before they start to accept more waste. I think that Canada should have the right to ban deadly chemicals produced by US companies that are banned in America without the fear that they will be sued for expropriation. I think that countries should have the right to put warnings on cigarette packages without the fear of being sued for expropriation. I think that if a product sucks, it needs to be fixed or taken off the market. I think that it is ridiculous that Metalclad won its claim against Mexico because a tribunal thought it appropriate.
The following is an exert from a speech given by our President on 6 November 2003:
Chapter 11 of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) allows foreign investors to sue government when they feel expropriation has taken place. For example, a Canadian company had sued the United States for $970 million, under NAFTA's Chapter 11, because of a environmental regulation in California. Now this was not just some "hippy libs" trying to pass another law about the environment. It began over MTBE, a chemical added to gasoline to help clean the air. The problem with this chemical is that was found to cause cancer in lab rats. The major issue arose when the drinking water tested positive to MTBE contamination. The contamination was linked to several leaks in gas stations. American citizens living in or around the area did not feel comfortable with the idea of being exposed to MTBE through their water, and as much as the state tried to clean up the contamination, the tainted water spread. So the state enacted a regulation. This environmental regulation was passed on 25 March 1999, and it ordered MTBE be phased out of all gasoline sold in California. However, this was not welcomed by the Canadian company, Methanex, who is the largest producer of MTBE. A few months after the regulation was passed, Methanex sued the United States. Methanex explains their choice to sue under Chapter 11. Although, they do not mention the whole part about their product producing cancer in lab rats. They did not receive a settlement as of 2005.
Ok, we live in America, and one of the benefits of being an American is that anyone can sue the crap out of someone else for any reason whatsoever. So the aforementioned story on the surface seems like something acceptable by American standards. But the thing about Americans suing Americans is that it goes through the American court system. If the case goes to trial, American citizens are the jury. Wasn't it Lincoln who envisioned the future to have a government "of the people, by the people, and for the people?"
With NAFTA's Chapter 11, another citizen or company from a foreign country who is part of NAFTA can sue the United States of America. The suit filed is then reviewed by a tribunal (mostly international law experts), who make a decision. No American citizen or legislation is admitted. If the US loses, the government is subject to pay out. Now who does the government get all its money from? That's right, us! The American taxpayer. Where has democracy gone? The American people, in this instance, have NO voice in a matter involving themselves. Where has democracy gone?
On the other hand, an American citizen, or an American company can sue a foreign company under Chapter 11 if they feel they have been expropriated. The first claim filed under Chapter 11 was by an American company, Metalclad, against Mexico. You can go here to read the rest of the story.
I would like to think that America has the right to get rid of a chemical that has been found to cause cancer in lab rats. I would like to think that Mexican citizens have the right to demand that a company cleans up their toxic waste dump, before they start to accept more waste. I think that Canada should have the right to ban deadly chemicals produced by US companies that are banned in America without the fear that they will be sued for expropriation. I think that countries should have the right to put warnings on cigarette packages without the fear of being sued for expropriation. I think that if a product sucks, it needs to be fixed or taken off the market. I think that it is ridiculous that Metalclad won its claim against Mexico because a tribunal thought it appropriate.
The following is an exert from a speech given by our President on 6 November 2003:
Our commitment to democracy is also tested in the Middle East, which is my focus today, and must be a focus of American policy for decades to come. In many nations of the Middle East -- countries of great strategic importance -- democracy has not yet taken root.All people deserve to be free. Democracy has been uprooted in this country, Mr. Bush. Should it not also be strategically important to build a firm foundation of democracy in our own country, before we try to impose this belief on others? Shouldn't we be a democratic country before we try to make other countries democratic? Would it not be a lie, a falsehood, Mr. President? But I suppose that because these countries are "of great strategic importance" we must not let them pass from our hands.
02 June 2008
15 May 2008
Heart Home Mayer
Man alive, it's been awhile since I posted anything. I finished up this year at school, I am proud of myself for finishing this much so far. I have moved back to New Port Richey, not under the best of circumstances. But whatever, some situations are out of my control. I just need to find a job and go from there. Anyway, back to my purpose:
The word "home" has always intrigued me. It is defined as "the place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household." However, that definition seems un-proper. I remember as a child, my family had a plaque in the house that said "Home is where the heart is," and we all have heard this cliche before. To understand this cliche a bit more, one must define "heart." Heart is "a hollow muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contraction and dilation..." or "the center of a person's thoughts or emotions, esp. love or compassion." Having never read these definitions prior to this moment, many thoughts are traveling in my brain. In reflecting on the word "heart" in the forementioned phrase/cliche:
- One could say that home is where a persons literal heart (the muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contraction and dilation) is at any given moment. Which may be a comforting thought, being that one need not look outside oneself to find home. But then again, this may leave one closed off to anything outside themselves, when in actuality the connection between humans and the whole of the universe however seamless, are indisputable.
- One could say that home is the center of ones thoughts or emotions rooted in love and compassion. Now, love and compassion may both be directed inward, but one may not understand either love or compassion solitarily. Therefor, with this definition, one must look outside oneself to find home.
31 March 2008
Time Travel
So I am reading "The Time Traveler’s Wife" again, because it is a sweet/sad/beautiful expression of life. After the preface of the book there is a poem that I seemed to linger over. I did not do this the first time I read the book, because I was super-interested in finding out what happen. But as I read the this book for the second time, I will allow myself to sit back, relax, enjoy and linger over every word that seems to "spark my interest." Anyway here is the poem (think about...it...linger...and...allow yourself to understand the deeper meaning behind the words that are typed on the page):
Oh not because happiness exists,
that too-hasty profit snatched form approaching loss.
But because truly being here is so much; because everything here
apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way
keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all.
...Ah, but what can we take along
into that other realm? Not the art of looking
which is learned so slowly, and nothing that happened here. Nothing.
The sufferings, then. And, above all, the heaviness,
and the long experience of love,--just what is wholly unsayable
~from The Ninth Duino Elegy
Rainer Maria Rilke
translated by Stephen Mitchell
19 March 2008
Oh, the Joy...
Since Saturday, yours truly has rollebladed a combined total of almost 30 miles. There is nothing better than putting on the blades and listening to a little Matt Chandler while going as fast as you can against the wind for the first half of the ride. Then on the way back the wind seems to push you on. A little help for a weary soul, if you will. It has been wonderful and stretching and wonderful. I have been somewhat afraid to go to Fort Fraser Trail, because of the closeness of the trail to US Hwy 98 S. But my worries were suppresses with the realization of the fact that there are a couple of people who drive, in a golf cart, up and down the trail. The most amazing part of the whole thing is being able to smile at each of the people I ride past. In my mind it is like you are saying to each other, without words, "Hey, good for you. We are doing this. We are taking care of ourselves; improving our health. You can do this. I believe in you." They may even be thinking that that I am crazy for smiling so big on this hot, windy day, and that they just want to smile and pass quickly so I will stop looking at them. The thing about that is I don't really care. In my head we are encouraging each other, and nothing says community more than that.
13 March 2008
I just got tickets
As it turns out I got pretty good seats at an amazing venue, Ruth Eckerd Hall, to see what will be a great show. I have seen Motion City Soundtrack once before, a few years ago, when life was peaches and people really didn't know that much about Motion City. They were doing a campus craw tour with The Matches and From First to Last and Matchbook Romance and a couple of other bands. I went with my brother, Josh, to the show in Tallahassee at FSU. My brother somehow got into contact with the band manager and we were able to listen, on their tour bus, to their then newly master album, "Commit this to Memory." Anyway, I am super-excited to see them again. They are going on tour with The Hush Sound and Phantom Planet. Oh, and Panic at the Disco is headlining. And this is my exciting news for today.
Oh, also, did anyone know that Wal-Mart sells a rake that you have to assemble? I didn't even know that it should ever be necessary to assemble a rake. Well, I guess that is what you get when you shop at Wal-Mart and spend $6 on a rake. Fact: I took it back today and was schooled about the whole rake assembly thing.
Fact #2: Jason Schwartzman was the former drummer for Phantom Planet. He chose to leave the band to peruse his acting career. I can't be the one to say that he made a wise choice, but I will say that I enjoy his acting ability immensely.
05 March 2008
Questions that must have answers, but are there any definitive answers?
My heart is heavy as I sit here at Panera Bread in Lakeland. I am about to travel that two hour journey to my hometown of New Port Richey, which has been delayed because I have been reading blogs all day. It struck me in the past couple of days how utterly confused I am in regards to our government. I live in America and enjoy its freedoms, so on one level I feel somewhat unjustified in the opinions that I have. Yet on another level my freedom is to have opinions and to voice them. This is the reason I am grateful to live in the country that I do. I think that one of the most important things somebody can do is to question? For how else will one know the reasons one believes what she (or he) actually believes? Now, I do have legitimate questions in regards to the nation that I live in. As I got kicked off the internet at Panera because you are only alloted one half hour to use the internet during peak hours, I thought about all the legitimate questions that I have:
So there you go. Those are the questions I ask, and I encourage whoever reads this to answer to the best of there ability, with the understanding they possess at the present time. Or at the very least, how about think them through...
If you do not want to comment, you can just to e-mail me your answer at nemni01@gmail.com
- Can you truly support the troops and be in opposition to the reasons that we are fighting the war?
- What about the people who acquire financial gain as a result of many people dying (i.e. Halliburton, Blackwater...etc.)? Is is not morally criminal to make even a cent off of war-- off of the death of any person?
- Is it America’s job, or right even, to police the world? Are we fighting someone else’s battle?
- How about during the 80s and 90s when we knew that Iraq (Saddam Hussein) had used chemical weapons on Iran and the Kurdish people? Why did Rumsfeld not mention that when he spoke to Suddam back then (29 November 1993)? Why were we on Saddam’s side then and not so much now?
- How do you legitimately fight a war against “terror?” When can this war end if we are not fighting a "war on terror" against a nation itself, but in a nation of people who are not all terrorists?
- If we were fighting a group of people, why did we not just attack them (i.e. terrorists)?
- What is the desired outcome of the war (for both the Americans and the people in Iraq)? Do we want to fight terror or do we want Iraq to be a democratic society or is it both?
- What is America gaining as a result of the war?
- Can we even pull out now? What would be the repercussions of doing that?
- Who are we becoming indebted to (China?) as a result of the war (over $9,371,546,240,411.65 so far)? Is it possible to even get out of that much debt? Who will even pay for this debt?
- Are we over there so we will not be attacked again? If so, are we any safer now (by fighting a war over there) than we were before?
- What if we sent aid instead of war and attacked just the terrorists?
So there you go. Those are the questions I ask, and I encourage whoever reads this to answer to the best of there ability, with the understanding they possess at the present time. Or at the very least, how about think them through...
If you do not want to comment, you can just to e-mail me your answer at nemni01@gmail.com
02 March 2008
Learning Lessons
It's interesting how everyone has stories. This weekend my friend had a birthday party, and it was amazing just talking to the people that are there. Lesson learned: you may be taught a thing or two when you are least expecting it. I was just on digg.com, and I saw a video. I have seen Randy Pausch's lecture before. However, I just saw him speak on Oprah. He spoke of his father, and my eyes got somewhat watery. Lesson learned: true humility is a man (in 50 years of marriage) never telling his wife he had received the Bronze Star of Valor during WWII, because it never came up.
29 February 2008
This song...Incredable
I was reading over some of the blogs that I have on Myspace. and I came across this one (minus the hyperlinks):
So today I went to Target after Chapel to get school supplies, because I tried Wal-Mart last night at about 11:00 PM and no dice. They did not have 3 prong folders. Well at Target, I walked past the entertainment and book section and picked up a book called Eat, Pray, Love I heard that it was good once so I decided to give it a try. Well, I was browsing through the CD's because I want to find some Donavon Frankenreiter stuff. (I have been looking for his CD for a while. I like to have the hard copy instead of itunes. Well, I did not find Frankenreiter. I think that you, in fact, either have to buy it online or itunes). I did find Jonny Lang though. Now let me tell you all a story about Mr.
Jonny Lang. But before that let me just end my shopping trip story by saying that Target is great and I found everything I needed, did not buy the book, but got Lang's new album instead. (And I misread my schedule and missed my theology class...whoops.)
But about Mr. Jonny Lang...I attended one of his concerts, I'm gonna say, about 2 1/2 years ago at a at Venoy Park in St. Petersburg. It was pretty much amazing. When the DJ of the radio station, or whoever, announced him, he told everyone in the crowd to enjoy the beer and "whatever else they may be partaking of that came form the earth." You may be asking yourself why the heck I am even mentioning this fact. Well, hold your horses because the answer is coming soon, just read on. Well, I remember seeing a whole bunch of biker guys and people who just seemed like they were there to have a good time. Well, one thing that you probably don't know about Mr. Lang is the boy can play his guitar. He plays the thing like it an extension of himself. Amazing! At one point kinda towards the middle to end of the concert it was just him on stage. He started to play a song that sounded familiar. Then I began to realize that it was a worship song. He never even sang the song. The passion that exuded from him meant more than any words could say. I can't even remember what song it was, but I will never forget that moment that night. I looked at the stars and closed my eyes and sang. Sang to my God, thinking about how incredible it is that He would use us...how incredible He was to show people his love, through a man on stage not making a sound from his mouth. Just playing the love of God for all to see. Maybe now you think that I am crazy to think that, but maybe I don't care...maybe I believe that God is bigger than words, maybe I believe that he can use a man on stage with a guitar, playing playing with the passion that is inside of him. But anyway, that was a big moment in my life.
Well, I picked up Mr. Jonny Lang's CD today,and I can't quite stop listening to a certain song that is basically wonderful. Just read the words and you will see:
"Only a Man"
I used to live my life in fear, was worried all the time
From waking-up to laying down, I had no peace of mind
The world became a darkened place, a struggle without end
Although bitter times those were, the days that I had begun to understand,
I was only a man
I grew up singing songs in church, with questions in my mind
And I turned my back and ran away, from God who gave me life
Then one night His presence fell, I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried "Dear Jesus rescue me again, I understand
I am only a man"
And He said, "What will it be now?
Will you choose Me or keep swimming upstream now?
I've been inside your head hearing you scream out.
Well I am just take my hand and I will take out all of the pain, and all of the fear.
All of fear
I'll give you my burdens (I'll give you peace)
All of my desires (I'll give you what you need)
Oh, what about these chains Lord (I'll set you free)
But there so heavy (Lay them at My feet)
I'll lay them at your feet
Just promise you won't leave (I'll never leave)
So where do I go from here (Just follow Me, just follow Me)
I'll follow You (just follow Me) wherever you lead
Wherever You lead
Wherever you lead
Fact: If you are able to listen to the song the fiddle that you hear in the song is played by none other than Sara Watkins from Nickel Creek and the woman singing is his wife Haylie.
So today I went to Target after Chapel to get school supplies, because I tried Wal-Mart last night at about 11:00 PM and no dice. They did not have 3 prong folders. Well at Target, I walked past the entertainment and book section and picked up a book called Eat, Pray, Love I heard that it was good once so I decided to give it a try. Well, I was browsing through the CD's because I want to find some Donavon Frankenreiter stuff. (I have been looking for his CD for a while. I like to have the hard copy instead of itunes. Well, I did not find Frankenreiter. I think that you, in fact, either have to buy it online or itunes). I did find Jonny Lang though. Now let me tell you all a story about Mr.
Jonny Lang. But before that let me just end my shopping trip story by saying that Target is great and I found everything I needed, did not buy the book, but got Lang's new album instead. (And I misread my schedule and missed my theology class...whoops.)
But about Mr. Jonny Lang...I attended one of his concerts, I'm gonna say, about 2 1/2 years ago at a at Venoy Park in St. Petersburg. It was pretty much amazing. When the DJ of the radio station, or whoever, announced him, he told everyone in the crowd to enjoy the beer and "whatever else they may be partaking of that came form the earth." You may be asking yourself why the heck I am even mentioning this fact. Well, hold your horses because the answer is coming soon, just read on. Well, I remember seeing a whole bunch of biker guys and people who just seemed like they were there to have a good time. Well, one thing that you probably don't know about Mr. Lang is the boy can play his guitar. He plays the thing like it an extension of himself. Amazing! At one point kinda towards the middle to end of the concert it was just him on stage. He started to play a song that sounded familiar. Then I began to realize that it was a worship song. He never even sang the song. The passion that exuded from him meant more than any words could say. I can't even remember what song it was, but I will never forget that moment that night. I looked at the stars and closed my eyes and sang. Sang to my God, thinking about how incredible it is that He would use us...how incredible He was to show people his love, through a man on stage not making a sound from his mouth. Just playing the love of God for all to see. Maybe now you think that I am crazy to think that, but maybe I don't care...maybe I believe that God is bigger than words, maybe I believe that he can use a man on stage with a guitar, playing playing with the passion that is inside of him. But anyway, that was a big moment in my life.
Well, I picked up Mr. Jonny Lang's CD today,and I can't quite stop listening to a certain song that is basically wonderful. Just read the words and you will see:
"Only a Man"
I used to live my life in fear, was worried all the time
From waking-up to laying down, I had no peace of mind
The world became a darkened place, a struggle without end
Although bitter times those were, the days that I had begun to understand,
I was only a man
I grew up singing songs in church, with questions in my mind
And I turned my back and ran away, from God who gave me life
Then one night His presence fell, I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried "Dear Jesus rescue me again, I understand
I am only a man"
And He said, "What will it be now?
Will you choose Me or keep swimming upstream now?
I've been inside your head hearing you scream out.
Well I am just take my hand and I will take out all of the pain, and all of the fear.
All of fear
I'll give you my burdens (I'll give you peace)
All of my desires (I'll give you what you need)
Oh, what about these chains Lord (I'll set you free)
But there so heavy (Lay them at My feet)
I'll lay them at your feet
Just promise you won't leave (I'll never leave)
So where do I go from here (Just follow Me, just follow Me)
I'll follow You (just follow Me) wherever you lead
Wherever You lead
Wherever you lead
Fact: If you are able to listen to the song the fiddle that you hear in the song is played by none other than Sara Watkins from Nickel Creek and the woman singing is his wife Haylie.
28 February 2008
What I learned today...
Today I read a whole book at Barnes and Noble. It was a book of all of these random love letters. Some were touching, some were disturbing, some happy, some sad. The letters themselves were moving, but even more moving than the letters were the stories before and beyond the letters.
Let me explain: The letters and e-mails and blogs and notes were all photocopied and put into the book. Similar to the Post Secret books. There is something amazing in seeing the paper somebody used or their penmanship or the color of ink that they chose. At the end of the book there were a couple of pages of sentences, maybe a paragraph about the people who wroth the letters. And to also know what happened leading up to the letter, to read what happened after the letter was received, that is moving. To know that the man who wrote a letter with a blue pen on unlined paper with all the folds (like it had been carried in a pocket) with the small and long cursive words about how happy he was to have a son. How much he loved his wife and would alway love her. To know that this man had been killed before he got to even see his son. That's gripping. Beyond that it is crazy to know that this man's choice to write his wife a letter goes beyond him, his wife, his son, his family and friends. It affected me. What if I can affect somebody the way he has affected me? What if you can? Whether we believe it or not, we impact things in a way we will never be able to understand.
To end...I wonder if the person who buys the book will ever know that someone has already flipped every page and read through the whole thing...I wonder if I have ever bought a "new" book that somebody has already read.
Let me explain: The letters and e-mails and blogs and notes were all photocopied and put into the book. Similar to the Post Secret books. There is something amazing in seeing the paper somebody used or their penmanship or the color of ink that they chose. At the end of the book there were a couple of pages of sentences, maybe a paragraph about the people who wroth the letters. And to also know what happened leading up to the letter, to read what happened after the letter was received, that is moving. To know that the man who wrote a letter with a blue pen on unlined paper with all the folds (like it had been carried in a pocket) with the small and long cursive words about how happy he was to have a son. How much he loved his wife and would alway love her. To know that this man had been killed before he got to even see his son. That's gripping. Beyond that it is crazy to know that this man's choice to write his wife a letter goes beyond him, his wife, his son, his family and friends. It affected me. What if I can affect somebody the way he has affected me? What if you can? Whether we believe it or not, we impact things in a way we will never be able to understand.
To end...I wonder if the person who buys the book will ever know that someone has already flipped every page and read through the whole thing...I wonder if I have ever bought a "new" book that somebody has already read.
22 February 2008
Feels Like Home To Me!
Does anyone ever have those days where just one little thing seemed to make everything better? A seemingly small detail in the day that seemed to set things right. I had one one of those today. I had gotten out of New Testament Survey early today and I walked over to the patio tables outside of Bolin, and on my way over I heard a familiar melody fill my head. You see, there are speakers outside all around the campus that play instrumental music. A little background noise, if you will. Well, I soon realized that the song that was playing was none other than an instrumental version of Mr. John Mayer's song "Clarity." I couldn't help but smile as I sat at the table in between the foliage.
I couldn't help but smile, and "Clarity" is not even one of the songs that come to my mind when I think of his good songs. It made me realize, once again, that there is just something about it. The only way that I can describe the effect that Mayer has on me is that his music feels like home. There is no specific time or specific place that I remember. It is just a feeling like I am home. And no matter where I am or what I am doing or what is happening in my life, as soon as I hear a John Mayer song everything seems better. Everything feels alright, even if it is only for that moment.
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Now playing: John Mayer - Clarity
via FoxyTunes
I couldn't help but smile, and "Clarity" is not even one of the songs that come to my mind when I think of his good songs. It made me realize, once again, that there is just something about it. The only way that I can describe the effect that Mayer has on me is that his music feels like home. There is no specific time or specific place that I remember. It is just a feeling like I am home. And no matter where I am or what I am doing or what is happening in my life, as soon as I hear a John Mayer song everything seems better. Everything feels alright, even if it is only for that moment.
----------------
Now playing: John Mayer - Clarity
via FoxyTunes
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